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Blowing It Scenario #85-Compromising.

A Compromise Is A Lose Lose Situation.

In order to understand this argument you must understand the context. The definition of a compromise is, an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions. Remember those last few words each side making concessions. We often think of a compromise as a win win. We’ll make a halfhearted attempt to hopefully satisfy our counterparts request at our own expense. Partially given up something we want, while they partially give up the full sum of what they’re asking for. In doing so, we both compromise, and now we think everyone is happy. But that line of thinking is just simply wrong. Both parties just lost. Neither you or your counterpart fully got what you wanted. So in order to reach a compromise both parties must give up something. They have to sacrifice what they truly wanted for a much lessor and often worse outcome. This situation can easily cause resentment to build from one or both parties. Especially when you constantly feel like you’re losing.

Fully given in to another individual’s request or having another person fully give in to yours, is no compromise either. However that is at least a win lose proposition. Which at least one person comes out the victor. This is far better than both parties losing. Yet this is how we operate throughout most of our lives. We’ll compromise happiness for a paycheck. In order to get that paycheck, we’ll compromise what we truly want to do in life. We’ll compromise our standards if another shows the slightest bit of interest in us. We’ll compromise where we live, what we do, who we’re with, what we buy, how we eat, all for this ever elusive sense of a win win proposition. It’s just simply doesn’t exist.

We need to start negotiating our wins. Do the work you want, live where you want and how you want to live. Find a person who shares the same values as you and who will support you no matter what and will not try to change you. Because a clear sign of wanting different things out of life is how often the two of you have to make compromises. If it’s constant, than you both are constantly fighting a losing battle. And in battle when a location is compromised it’s time to get the hell out of there. Same thing goes in the real world, when you are consistently being compromised, you just might want to ask yourself if it’s your time to get the hell out.

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