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Abuse Actions Independence

Giving Too Much Power To A Provider. Avoiding Blowing It #256.

Never Give Up All Of Yourself Just Because Someone Or Something Acts As Your Provider.

If there was a handbook on abuse one of the chapters would be about being the provider. Provider equals power. I will say it is a wonderful thing to provide for the ones you love. We should always strive to do such as our gift to them. It’s a whole other thing when you do it out of manipulation.

We Rely So Much On Others Providing For Us.

How we’ll say in abusive relationships because of it or we’ll leave loving ones because they hadn’t provided enough. It’s one of the many reasons slavery lasted so long and why it still happens around the world today. If you provide someone with just enough and eliminate all other options or if options are sparse, you are able to control.

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Preying on someone who thinks they have limited options is the same thing. It’s why sociopaths and psychopaths can be successful. They prey on others weakness and if you think you need someone else to take care of you they’ll sniff that out.

Bingo The Trap Is Set.

I over heard a married couple talking the other day. Playfully joking about divorce. And the wife said are you kidding me? I could never leave him. Do you think I can afford all this on my own? Referring to their lifestyle and housing. And bingo there it was. She is trapped. They are actually pretty happy together but if he really wanted to push it he could because she has already admitted she has nowhere to go. The provider sometimes creates the invisible prison that some can never escape from.

On the flip side of that many will leave those they love if they lose the provider status. Watch how fast a marriage can crumble when the provider is laid off. It’s treated as some unspoken rule. I’ll love you as long as you provide for me is the thought process. Which is another form of abuse except no one ever sees it that way. But it is this mentality of I’ll provide you with love as long as you provide me with security. It’s just as controlling. Blame tends to always fall on the financial provider yet its the love provider who does the real damage.

After basic human needs are met food, clothing and shelter what else really is there? Learn to provide that much for yourself at all times so you are never reliant on another. Own your own independence. Just remember only when you’re providing work for another should you expect a return. If you are providing for your loved ones, do it out of love, don’t always expect something in return. And always provide love without perimeters as well. Lastly don’t take advantage of someone’s good nature and generosity if they choose to be a provider.

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