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Attaching Third Party Feelings To a First Party Relationship. #270

Never Attach The Feelings That Came From Another Source To A Different Someone Or Something.

Most of the time we don’t even realize we are doing it. This happens a lot in broken homes. If the parent of a child now hates their own child’s father. That animosity may get redirected towards the child just by proxy. Or vise versa the feelings from your child could get redirected towards you the parent.

If you have had a bad experience in life and that person who caused it is now removed from your life. Sometimes you’ll show disdain towards the person who brought them into your life. As with some parents one may have been abusive. But since the other brought them into your life you may show those strong feelings of hate towards the one loving parent. Simply because they were the catalyst for that other person being in your life.

This is simply a transference to someone who doesn’t always deserve the strong emotions directed at them. They also probably went through the hardships and are ready to move on. In those times its best to show strength through restraint in emotive displays that might be directed at the wrong individual all together.

We may have have friends who have brought people into our lives that have upended our lives. I don’t think that friend had that intention but we might treat them that way. Isolate relationships down to what is between you and that person and treat them accordingly. Be mindful of how you interact. What is outside of that, is outside of that, leave it for those other isolations you maintain. Don’t hate your siblings because your parents sucked. Love your family, remove toxicity where it exist and the full broad spectrum of a relationship is toxic, let it go. Just don’t drag others into that pained process.