Sexual Archives - Blowing It

September 19, 2019September 19, 2019

Performance Anxiety #221

Some People Are More Self Conscious Than Others And Deal With An Unrelenting Inner Voice. Which Creates A Mental Struggle Empowering Performance Anxiety.

This can happen in any setting. Public speaking, sexually, conversationally. It happens in sports all the time. Performance anxiety is more about the discomfort of the situation and the pressure put on oneself to be at their utmost best, rather than it being about the outcome. The outcome is just a byproduct of the former. Sure you may stutter in your speech. Or in sexual situations you not be able to perform like the dynamo you wish yourself to be or at all. In sport you may have an enormous lead that is squandered because you got deep into your head.

It’s Not About You, It’s About The Environment You Create.

Maybe you have witnessed someone have performance anxiety. Did you create a more toxic unwelcoming environment? One where you cast blame and shame the other person for not being their best? Did you guilt the other person with some outside culprit that may have no baring on the situation? Just to make yourself feel better.

Or did you create a calm welcoming environment one of acceptance and peace? One in which the outcome matters not. Sure you want a certain outcome. All parties involved want the best possible outcome. But when dealing with someone that has retreated into their head. You need to release expectancy of that outcome, in order to get back into the present. You need to create an environment of comfort, forgiveness and gratitude for the effort at hand. Be thankful just for time this person has given you.

This Goes For All Anxiety Not Just Performance Anxiety.

Never press an anxious person to stop being anxious. Don’t ever chastise or condemn them. Never assume what is causing the anxiety. Just simply find an environment that is best suited for their needs in the moment. Maybe change the subject to a more relaxed free flowing one. Sometime simply just being with them helps. Give comforting touch if they need it and it helps. Move locations, get outside. Offer to try again later with no pressure. In sports they might take a time out or give the player the night off. Something about the stress of the situation is getting to them. Take the pressure off.

It’s all about assisting in quieting that inner voice so the outer performance can come through beautifully. Some need assistance getting there. Be the creator of the positive environments. If anxiety is happening near you often you are creating tension around your environment. Change that environment.

February 26, 2019July 17, 2019

Legality Of Soliciting Sex #184.

Is Paying For Sex A Morality Law Or Is It A Financial Law?

Early this week it was discovered that Robert Kraft the owner of the New England Patriots allegedly engaged and paid for sex acts at an illegal prostitution spa in Florida. Part of a month long investigation led by the police. They caught him on video tape engaging in these acts. Now if were him I would take full ownership of my actions. I’d tell the world yes I did it, I’m a 77 year old widower who doesn’t have much time left on Earth I have a lot of money, which means most of my relationships are superficial. I just want the comfort of a woman without her wanting anything more from me. I don’t condone his actions but I do question why they have to be illegal.

People Need Touch.

It is my hope that it is a law designed to help people. Maybe save them from their own moral failings, if you can even call it that. I’m not sure soliciting sex is a failing. Just society deems it so. People need love, intimacy, connection, and touch. Some don’t come across that as easily as others. So what is the problem if they come across a fabricated sense of those things. And so what if they have pay for it to achieve it. Some maybe handicapped in some way, be it age, body or mind, that keeps them from expericing another or even joining the dating pool. Why can’t they pay for what they can’t achieve through honest effort?

Dates Cost Money.

No matter what people have to pay for dates in order to woo the opposite sex. How are these “gifts” any different, if at the end of the date you receive pleasure in the form of physical touch?

There is a flip side to all of it, the safety and well being of the sex workers themselves. You could claim that is what the law is there to protect them. Not concerned just with the hidden transactions which circumvent the government.

Why Not Legalize It?

However anything illegal is only going to attract criminals. They will run the industry while workers get exploited. You have desperate individuals easily manipulated by these criminals to be forced into sex traffic. However with a well regulated industry operating by the books you would put an end to the criminal activity and only licensed practitioners would essentially be allowed to operate. And just like what happened with the marijuana industry. Criminal enterprises would falter. Criminals find it difficult to operate or grow when you take away their best weapon, legality. All in all it should a choice from both sides if you want to participate in these activities or not, free from lawful intervention.

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May 22, 2018June 1, 2018

Blowing It Scenario #101-Sexual Repression.

Does Sexual Repression Manifest Itself As Sexual Aggression?

Withhold anything that’s strongly wanted and there will grow a burning desire to obtain these things. Sometimes these wants will be transmuted into new desires. Does the same hold true for sex? Sex is simply a part of human nature and will always be desired in some form or another. Make it a healthy desire. Don’t suppress it but also don’t attack it or others. All sex must be mutually desired.

Today an archbishop in Australia was charged with covering up sexual abuses of his colleague, another priest. This is the highest ranking member of the church to be charged. It shouldn’t matter who you are or what your profession, no one should be outside the purview of justice and I commend Australia for going after sexual predators (especially those of minors) and those who protect them. Even if those men claim to be men of god and are high ranking priest.

4,400 men and women have come forward with stories of sexual abuse by the church from 1980 to 2015. None of this has it’s place in any church, or society as a whole for that matter. This is just in Australia, around the world there are so many more claims. What is it about this environment that makes sexual assault of minors so prevalent? Is it the fact that those involved know so much of their actions will always be covered up by the powers that be? Or is it the fact priest must remain celibate and by repressing normal sexual desires they become altered in someway? Manifesting in the worst way possible, as predators to youth. I will truly never see how children become the object of there desires but we as a society need to examine these things so we can hope to prevent them in the future.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.