Blowing It

March 18, 2020March 21, 2020

Giving Too Much Power To A Provider. Avoiding Blowing It #256.

Never Give Up All Of Yourself Just Because Someone Or Something Acts As Your Provider.

If there was a handbook on abuse one of the chapters would be about being the provider. Provider equals power. I will say it is a wonderful thing to provide for the ones you love. We should always strive to do such as our gift to them. It’s a whole other thing when you do it out of manipulation.

We Rely So Much On Others Providing For Us.

How we’ll say in abusive relationships because of it or we’ll leave loving ones because they hadn’t provided enough. It’s one of the many reasons slavery lasted so long and why it still happens around the world today. If you provide someone with just enough and eliminate all other options or if options are sparse, you are able to control.

Preying on someone who thinks they have limited options is the same thing. It’s why sociopaths and psychopaths can be successful. They prey on others weakness and if you think you need someone else to take care of you they’ll sniff that out.

Bingo The Trap Is Set.

I over heard a married couple talking the other day. Playfully joking about divorce. And the wife said are you kidding me? I could never leave him. Do you think I can afford all this on my own? Referring to their lifestyle and housing. And bingo there it was. She is trapped. They are actually pretty happy together but if he really wanted to push it he could because she has already admitted she has nowhere to go. The provider sometimes creates the invisible prison that some can never escape from.

On the flip side of that many will leave those they love if they lose the provider status. Watch how fast a marriage can crumble when the provider is laid off. It’s treated as some unspoken rule. I’ll love you as long as you provide for me is the thought process. Which is another form of abuse except no one ever sees it that way. But it is this mentality of I’ll provide you with love as long as you provide me with security. It’s just as controlling. Blame tends to always fall on the financial provider yet its the love provider who does the real damage.

After basic human needs are met food, clothing and shelter what else really is there? Learn to provide that much for yourself at all times so you are never reliant on another. Own your own independence. Just remember only when you’re providing work for another should you expect a return. If you are providing for your loved ones, do it out of love, don’t always expect something in return. And always provide love without perimeters as well. Lastly don’t take advantage of someone’s good nature and generosity if they choose to be a provider.

March 12, 2020March 18, 2020

Financial Repercussions Of Coronavirus. Avoiding Blowing It #255.

With Many Jobs And Events Forcing To Close. There Will Be Major Financial Repercussions Of Coronavirus.

It’s all fine and dandy for those who work in industries they can have their employees work remotely. They actually are having a lovely little paid vacation. No commute just work on your task from home, it’s wonderful. Their financial repercussions of coronavirus will be minimal.

State workers and teachers will have state benefits look after them and many classes can simply move to online.

But those who actually have to get out and earn their living through a physical presence at their place of employment will suffer most.

The Bills Are Not Taking a Vacation.

As much as we would all love to put life on hold hunker down till this all passes we simply can’t.

Unless there is some mandate that suspends all expenses until the virus passes. We all still have to earn our keep. What about the parents that still need to work and yet their children are out of school. How do they manage their households?

Its so easy for government to mandate closures but they are not taking into account the what the financial repercussion of the Coronavirus have on a micro level. That is what is going to do the most damage.

It’s an interesting time. Right now it all seems like quite the over reaction. It’s a strain of flu that has a 2% mortality rate and that’s mostly amongst elderly people.

However, in researching what the Spanish flu of 1918 did. You can get yourself a little worried.

In a similar vein it came on around March with near identical affect. Targeting mostly the elderly. But by the next fall the strain had morphed into a far deadlier version of itself and began killing at will healthy young individuals by the millions. So it’s not really the first wave that creates the cause for an all out panic.

We also have to understand this was 1918 technology has far surpassed what is what then and I expect answers to come far faster then back then. But there are a lot more people now. And we have transportation systems that can take a virus all over the world in a matter of days if not hours.

What Can We Do?

I think a lot of the preemptive measures are on point but there are issues not addressed and that is mainly the financial ones. This may just be the virus that kills the poor since the wealthy can isolate themselves more. And the poor have to earn their living through mostly physical labor. The problem with that is it will still spread rapidly if not all citizens are looked after.

All we can do as individuals is practice impeccable hygiene avoid contact as much as possible. And if you’re sick stay at home.

We may have to find some side hustles in the meantime to cover our bills. I imagine if it gets bad enough maybe governments around the world will finally institute a universal basic income so necessities are covered. Because the financial repercussions of coronavirus, like the virus itself, is just getting started.

March 6, 2020March 6, 2020

Not Proving Doubters Wrong. Avoiding Blowing It #254.

Proving Doubters Wrong Is One, If Not Thee Best Source Of Motivation.

It’s what pushes you to that next level. You hear it all the time in professional sports. Championship teams love their underdog status. They love proving doubters wrong.

Doubt me?

Okay I’m going to play better then you ever expected. My mission is to prove your assessment of my abilities was so far off base. That you will pay for such a thought. I will go so much farther then you ever thought I could. That will show you. You completely misjudged me.

This is the thought process of some of the elites among us. No one gives us more motivation then the doubters.

It’s the people that challenge us the most that push us far beyond what we might have thought we were capable of. Or we may have thought we were capable of it but just needed that little extra push.

It’s another log to fuel the fire.

Recently a basketball player who had his best night of the season. In his post game interview he thanked a tweet from someone he had never met. Because that person said it looked like he lost the fire in his eye for the game of basketball. These moments are all around us.

Use doubt as a motivator. Find someone or something anything that represents their doubt and reminds you of that fire burning inside you. And use it to just keep adding logs to that growing fire inside.

Welcome their disrespect with open arms. If someone tells you it can’t be done. That is when turn on the jets and show them it can be and you will.

Never give in to what negative beliefs others may have of you. Prove to those doubters that they just made the biggest mistake of their lives betting against you.

March 2, 2020March 3, 2020

Putting Dry Ice In A Swimming Pool. Avoiding Blowing It #253

Dry Ice Is Pure Carbon Dioxide. First Breath Knocks You Unconscious, Second Kills You.

Over the weekend at a party in Moscow. A few people thought it would be a good idea to put dry ice in a swimming pool. If you ever witnessed dry ices smokey vapor billow from it’s interaction with a glass of water. You would deem it’s cool looking science. You could unwittingly surmise that it would be much cooler on a grander scale. I believe that thought may have crossed the minds of the party goers in Moscow. And three people died because of it.

If you have ever worked around CO2 you know that it is a very dangerous gas. In a brewery for instance you’re taught never to put your head into a fermenter or bright tank if CO2 could be present. There are CO2 detectors all through out the brewery. Why? Because CO2 is so deadly. As the saying goes the first breathe will knock you unconscious and the second will kill you. Carbon Dioxide is heavier than air so it settles to ground level. So when you do ultimately pass out you’re blanketed by the gas once on the floor.

So if you put it in a pool right where your head bobs out is a thick layer of deadly gas. Just small breathe of it is like a punch to the face if you can survive the knock out blow. Get out of there immediately. A pool is actually a multiplier of the danger. You hold your breath to go under water when you come up the first thing you want to do is take a big breathe and bam like that you’re unconscious. Hard for anyone to save you because you would need a oxygen tank just to breathe while exerting yourself in that environment. Others would parish too without it if they tried to jump into to the pool to grab others.

Just err on the side of caution. If you want a smokey pool rent a smoke machine. And take gases very seriously if you don’t know how they affect the body don’t use them. The fact that you have to be 18 to purchase dry ice should signify the dangers but maybe we need even more warning labels.

February 25, 2020February 25, 2020

Not Asking For Help. Avoiding Blowing It #252

Asking For Help Gets You An Extra Set Of Eyes And A Whole New Perspective On Problems You Might Have Had Trouble Solving.

Self reliance is one of the most valuable skills you can develop. To be able to be accountable and reliable in all situations you are put into is always the goal. Sometime we just can’t do everything though. And asking for help is not a bad thing. It shows character and maturity. When we reach our limitations we need to ask for help. And the beauty of it is when you receive that help. You elevate your understanding to a new level. That sets your limitation bar that much higher for the next time you come across similar problems.

If you’re having difficulty in a relationship and your communication keeps leading you back to the same problem. Go and get a third party administrator, a counselor, or an impartial friend or family member. Someone who is going to give you new perspective on an old problem as well as a new way to look at it and the best solution to recover from it. It’s very important to seek help in these situations.

A Prime Example.

There was an incessant squeaking in my vehicle’s door. For weeks I thought it was in the handle. I took apart the handle piece by piece, greased it, taped it screwed it back on. And with each “fix” still more squeaking. Yet you could mess with the handle in a certain way and get the sound to stop. I was convinced it had to be the handle. So I would try “fixing” a different part of the handle still to no avail.

Finally I got someone to ride with me to get a second pair of eyes on it. What did we find out? Obviously it wasn’t the handle after all but the door panel itself and when you pulled on the handle it pressed against the panel to stop the noise. But my cognitive bias told me to keep focusing on the handle.

This is the problem we face all too often. We obsess over the wrong problem and it isn’t until we get fresh eyes to point out something so incredibly simple that your mind skipped over while you were looking in the complete wrong direction. That’s why asking for help is so important. How long do you want to be travelling in the wrong direction before you finally get the right answer? You may never find your way back if you wait too long.

February 20, 2020February 20, 2020

The Momentum Diet. Avoiding Blowing It #251

The Momentum Diet Is An Idea To Focus Strictly Gradually Building Momentum.

Let’s call all diet or life change what it really is. And that is simply willing your body and mind into building momentum. The initial phase of the momentum diet is the most difficult but as you get going it gets easier and easier till you’re chugging along like a freight trains and and that point it becomes difficult to stop you.

The Momentum diet is about never breaking the chain. We have all heard the story of Jerry Seinfeld chain method. Get yourself calendar and day one when you start your change put a x through the date each consecutive day you do your intended change put another X through the date. Soon you’ll have a chain and a process.

The best way to build momentum is gradually at first. Work up to the monster goal so you don’t get overwhelmed. If you want to run a marathon and have never ran a day in your life you are not going to lace up your shoes and simply run 26.2 miles day one. You might start with one mile, then two and so and and so forth.

With a new diet you might cut out one food group first. Or you could start minimizing intake of that food group until you can fully cut it out. Maintain the plan and structure checkpoints to add a new challenge. And once you have that under control add the next, just never break the chain.

Remember it’s about building momentum don’t try to do everything at once. You don’t need cheat days if you do it gradually. Cheat days break the chain and if you tie enough of those together soon you have momentum going in the opposite direction for you.

I will say when something has taken full control of your mind as in the case with drugs and alcohol. Moderation quitting will not work. You have to commit fully to never touching the stuff again. This is your momentum it just comes with maximum force in the beginning. Know the harder the addiction the more work it will be. With that pain comes far deeper rewards.

Want to quit social media or unnecessary screen time? Set a timer. What can you limit yourself too in one day? Is it one hour, two, maybe three? Find a good starting point with a plan to continuously minimize. Many times it will feel uncomfortable at first. You’re breaking years sometimes decades of bad habits. But the best way to succeed is to focus on the momentum you are gaining.

February 18, 2020February 18, 2020

Ill Reputable Individuals Ruining Bathroom Privileges For Us All. Avoiding Blowing It #250.

Leave It To A Few Bad Apples To Ruin Bathroom Privileges For Us All.

Remember growing up when bathroom privileges seemed universal. If you really had to go you could simply jump into almost any nearby store front. Use their restroom real quick and either be on your way. Or do some shopping while there.

Now you have to drive all over town asking every clerk for the right to use the bathroom and often your greeted with, “sorry we can’t let you use the bathroom. Due to excessive vandalism our bathrooms are now close to the public.” If you’re lucky, you’ll get the quote, “our bathrooms are for paying customers only,” and you simply buy something small that you didn’t really want just to use the toilet. Maybe to prove you are reputable enough to use their toilet. And to possibly offset the fraction of a cent for toilet water, a dash of soap and a sliver of paper.

Even still most bathroom locks have key codes now and some even have a magnetic buzzer system to buzz you in from the front register. Like we’re inmates to monitor. Someday we may lose all privileges all together if we don’t find a system to prevent the very small subgroup of society that thinks it’s okay to vandalize restrooms or sleep in them or use them as their own little drug den. These are public spaces that we should all do our part to respect. Before we have to start paying to enter all bathrooms.

We have to create a process that only punishes those who abuse the system and not the entire array of users. How do we do that? Some countries charge a minimal fee to use the public restroom. Which is a decent idea but still not enough to punish abusers. People could pay and still damage things. There are a number of different ideas we could come up with. Regardless we have to do something soon before we’re left to just go on the streets.

February 15, 2020February 15, 2020

Beating The Back Of A Passenger’s Seat Because They Reclined On A Flight. Avoiding Blowing It #249

It’s Frustrating, It’s Annoying, You Can Silently Rage In Your Head, But You Can Never Lay Your Hand On Another Passenger’s Seat. You Are Effectively Hitting Them In The Process.

Seats recline on planes it’s how they are built, use it. And if you weren’t allowed to recline your seat on a flight, they wouldn’t make them that way. Just like how they took the cigarette ash tray out of the seats after you could no longer smoke on planes.

But they do recline and you have every right to use that recline. If you purchased a seat on a plane you have that space. You do not own a 6 foot radius around that seat.

If you booked the back row and your seat doesn’t recline that is on you. The seats in front of you don’t have to accommodate you. They paid for their seat as well and they were fortunate enough to buy the ones that actually recline. And it’s within their right to do so.

Just because the back row can’t, doesn’t mean they rest of the plane has to sacrifice. buy a better seat if you can’t handle it. So if the back row can’t recline and they want the person in front of them not to recline does that require the row in front of them to do the same and so on and so forth. It is a flaw in design that makes it so the back row can’t recline it. The seats only recline about two inches anyway not sure why they couldn’t add that.

A lady recently video tapped a man beating the back of her seat aggressively because she chose to recline her seat. Now she is looking to press charges against the man. And I think good for her. I’m not one to support abuse of the system the claims she is making are a bit over exaggerated but he should be made an example of. You can not hit someone in the back of the seat, it is an assault. Just like if you didn’t like the back pack I was wearing and you ran and gave me a flying kick in my back pack while I was wearing it. It’s not an assault on the chair or the backpack it’s an assault on the person.

There are all these fictitious made up flight etiquette rules that no one seems to actually know. Like middle seat gets both arm rest. In my experience middle usually gets the shaft on both. Unless you take it before anyone else and never move your arms off. This no recline thing is outrageous. If you want to recline, recline. It’s about making yourself as comfortable as possible within the tight confines of the seat you paid for. Can’t stand it, buy a first class ticket.

February 13, 2020February 13, 2020

Making Excuses To Quit Before You Have Reached Your Goal. Avoiding Blowing It #248

Never Make Excuses, Just Always Compete, Never Give Up, Get And Then Keep Your Momentum.

We often toil over if we made the right decision or decisions in life. And if we should continue forward on the path we’re on. If it’s a good path but we don’t “feel it” we fire up the excuses mechanism in our brain. We might tell ourselves any number of things that we’re impostors, that it’s not the right fit, that we’ve out grown it. Sometimes it’s necessary to throw in the towel but it you have set yourself a goal and you’re still along ways away for achieving that goal. It is no time to quit. It is time to dig your heals in and work that much harder.

Kobe Bryant recently passed away. The man was an ultimate competitor, hands down. It showed in every arena he played in not just in basketball but also life. He left so many priceless gems on what it takes to compete at the highest level and one of the best I’ve seen is a text message he sent to John Antobelli another passenger and friend of Kobe who passed away along side him and his daughter in the horrifically sad helicopter crash that took 9 lives in total.

After John, a coach of a college baseball team, experienced only a two game losing streak. Kobe said to him in a text, “By all means, Feel sorry for yourself, By all means make excuses. By all means feel discouraged. By all means don’t play like this game is the most important thing to you. By all means entertain yourself with other sh*t because the game of baseball will be here forever and you will have infinite opportunities to play this game. You will [have] infinite opportunities to put on your gear, feel the glove, the ball, etc. The game of baseball will wait for you. Life will wait for you. It’s not as life can be taken away from you at any moment. Nooo that would be crazy, that would be cruel. Right? So, by all means, play the game as if [you] will have all the swings you can dream of and when the day comes when you realize baseball, that life doesn’t work that way, you will understand that the best [way] to play is by ANY MEANS necessary. By any means. No excuses. No waiting. F*ck patience. F*ck injuries and f*ck THEM. PLAY as if every at bat may be ur last because it very f*cking well could be. So let’s make every single f*cking one count. Lets go get these f*ckers!”

That is and always will be some of the best life advice one can receive. We don’t have unlimited at bats in the game of life. We have to make the opportunities count while we’re still here on this earth. Lets work to constantly work to improve, to develop ourselves because that job is never done.

This site and my writing on it has been dormant for weeks. Why, because I chose to tell myself with a name like blowing it I’m attracting that into my life. It was an excuse to stop working. To think about calling it quits. To move on to the next project before my goal for this one was finished. But it’s bull crap this site is not about blowing it. It’s about success, its about recovery, it’s about trying to get better, it’s about falling on your ass and getting right back up again. Not sitting dormant making excuses on why not to do something.

Throughout writing I have attracted so many beautiful things into my life. I’ve consistently been on a journey of self discovery. I’ve learned a tremendous amount from others as well. This site has and always will be open to all. It’s an invitation to join in that for yourself, to expand the conversation, and to not make excuses for giving up. To constantly push through failure and arrive at the success you desire on the other side.

January 27, 2020January 27, 2020

Always Wearing Airpods. Avoiding Blowing It #247.

We Have Found Yet Another Way To Always Avoid Everyone Around Us. Constantly Wearing Airpods Everywhere We Go.

It wasn’t enough for just our eyes and mind to be always occupied by our screens. We needed more senses to be involved in our distraction. Add hearing to the list of new ways to check out of societal norms with Airpods. Comfortable Blutooth headphones that fit into each individual ear. Without cords to obstruct, people are using them as permanent accessories.

We’re only a few steps away from never ever having to talk to another individual in our lifetime and that’s a terrible thing. We need connection, simply listening to others connect on a podcast or watching a YouTuber talk to the camera is not sufficient human connection. It’s really no connection at all.

We get so addicted to these devices because it’s so much easier then actually connecting. We’re predisposed to take the easy way it’s hard wired into our DNA for survival purposes. Even though it’s not always the best thing for us and it’s usually far less rewarding. So we bury ourselves in our phones and think it’s our only access to the outside world. Even while we’re completely immersed in the outside world. We’ll still succumb to our devices where we think we have more connection. It is ruining human interaction.

So Many People Now Are Wizards At Texting Yet Complete Wet Noodles At Face To Face Interaction.

Where was the wizardry lost? It’s probably because they have no practice. They have no idea when to speak and when to listen. And it will only get worse with each technological advance that eliminates the need for personal interaction. As well as eliminating another sense. I’m sure next will be augmented reality glasses. Where you can create a completely fictitious world around you. Eliminate all the real people from view so you can finally check out into oblivion.

Be present. Turn off the screens and take your head phones out in the presence of another. Talk, even if you’re bad at. Maybe your a great listener, encourage others to talk. Let’s stop using technology so much to escape authenticity. And just know if you’re constantly wearing Airpods everywhere you go. You are kind of an ass.