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Not Putting Your Best Foot Forward. Avoiding Failure #237.

If You’re Going To Do Something Take Pride In That Effort And Put Your Best Foot Forward.

Over the weekend there was a heavyweight championship fight. It was a rematch of two fighters that had fought before. And in that first fight the heavy favorite was upset by the major underdog. Naturally there would be a rematch. And that’s exactly what took place this last weekend. However the underdog did not take pride in his work. He had reached the peak and now he was living on easy street. He did not put his best foot forward.

Best Foot Forward

Sure the years of toil in the gym afforded him the moment to bask in his accomplishments. But he knew he would have to defend the title. Since it was already a given that there would be this rematch. And he would make another windfall of money. Rather then put his best foot forward he instead chose to party with friends, over eat when he was already obese to begin with, adding an extra 15 pounds. I will say his strength and stamina at nearly 300 lbs is incredible. But he didn’t take it serious. He even admitted he under trained.

Why work to stay on top when you know the inevitable outcome? Maybe he thought he would his skills would carry him without improvements. Or maybe he knew he was the underdog and embraced it. The match did go to decision so he did go the distance with the champion. But when you show up out of shape you do a disservice to yourself and those who pay to see you perform at your best. That is not your best.

Now it’s set for a tie breaker match. And I’m sure he’ll work to improve to show he’s worthy of a third bout but why even go down that road when he clearly didn’t take it serious in the second. Why take him serious when he doesn’t do the same for himself? And that is exactly what happens when you don’t put your best foot forward. People move on from you and from your work. And when you reach that point it’s time to select new challengers and new challenges. Ones where you can invest yourself fully into and be at your best. Why get in a cycle of the same thing? Move on and move upward.

Performance Anxiety #221

Performance Anxiety

Some People Are More Self Conscious Than Others And Deal With An Unrelenting Inner Voice. Which Creates A Mental Struggle Empowering Performance Anxiety.

This can happen in any setting. Public speaking, sexually, conversationally. It happens in sports all the time. Performance anxiety is more about the discomfort of the situation and the pressure put on oneself to be at their utmost best, rather than it being about the outcome. The outcome is just a byproduct of the former. Sure you may stutter in your speech. Or in sexual situations you not be able to perform like the dynamo you wish yourself to be or at all. In sport you may have an enormous lead that is squandered because you got deep into your head.

It’s Not About You, It’s About The Environment You Create.

Performance Anxiety
Photo by Mubariz Mehdizadeh on Unsplash

Maybe you have witnessed someone have performance anxiety. Did you create a more toxic unwelcoming environment? One where you cast blame and shame the other person for not being their best? Did you guilt the other person with some outside culprit that may have no baring on the situation? Just to make yourself feel better.

Or did you create a calm welcoming environment one of acceptance and peace? One in which the outcome matters not. Sure you want a certain outcome. All parties involved want the best possible outcome. But when dealing with someone that has retreated into their head. You need to release expectancy of that outcome, in order to get back into the present. You need to create an environment of comfort, forgiveness and gratitude for the effort at hand. Be thankful just for time this person has given you.

This Goes For All Anxiety Not Just Performance Anxiety.

Never press an anxious person to stop being anxious. Don’t ever chastise or condemn them. Never assume what is causing the anxiety. Just simply find an environment that is best suited for their needs in the moment. Maybe change the subject to a more relaxed free flowing one. Sometime simply just being with them helps. Give comforting touch if they need it and it helps. Move locations, get outside. Offer to try again later with no pressure. In sports they might take a time out or give the player the night off. Something about the stress of the situation is getting to them. Take the pressure off.

It’s all about assisting in quieting that inner voice so the outer performance can come through beautifully. Some need assistance getting there. Be the creator of the positive environments. If anxiety is happening near you often you are creating tension around your environment. Change that environment.

Destroying Your Reputation #219.


Reputation Takes A Lifetime To Build But Only Seconds To Destroy.

This has to be one of the most unfair statement in history. Work your whole life for something as important as one’s own reputation. Only to make one false move and it’s gone. Is this more of a preamble to the fact we are less forgiving creatures?

Is this a statement that requires us to walk on eggshells our whole lives? Never rock the boat, never push any ones buttons, Never go against the one you created for yourself.

What Is The Reputation You Want For Yourself?

What if you want to change it later? If you have a bad one, destroying it could be a good thing. All change requires you to refute current reputation. This is truly a conundrum. Do you maintain status quo? Or go against the tides?

What roll does ego play into your decision making? Reputation might be the greatest casualty of the ego.

Does your need to satisfy your ego reflect poorly upon your reputation? Or is your ego so firmly tied to it that you fear you’ll lose attention by neglecting it’s call?

A Brilliant Example.

Has been on display within a professional football player by the name of Antonio Brown. Antonio wore out his welcome with not one but two NFL teams. When his ego dictated his actions, he lashed out.

Photo by Ben Hershey on Unsplash

Talent is one thing but now he has a new reputation as being a disruption and a distraction to the team. A selfish player who only thinks of himself rather than the team. However he can destroy that old belief with becoming a great teammate and thriving within that system.

Honestly I think the saying should be reputation is what you make of it and what others choose to see in you. If you mess up there is always another day or another audience. Time can heal all wounds and everyone forgets given some time. I’ve come to realize reputation takes seconds to create and it can be manipulated however you want it.

NFL Referees Continuing To Decide Major Games #178.

Referees blown call

At What Point Do We Allow Technology Take Over For These Highly Flawed Referees?

Over the weekend the Saints lost to the Los Angeles Rams. But the saints should have won that game. But a blown call by the referees gave the Rams an opportunity to go on to the Superbowl. With under two minutes left in the game. With the saints in scoring position near the 10-yard line. Quarterback Drew Brees threw a pass to his young receiver. And while the ball was still in the air. The Rams defender hit the saints receiver helmet-to-helmet before the ball even got to its Target. A blatant pass interference call that was missed as well as a blatant helmet-to-helmet call that was also missed.

Essentially, had it been called, would have put the saints on the 1-yard line. With a first down giving them the ability to kneel out the clock and kick the game-winning field goal. However, it went uncalled. And the saints had to kick a field goal with nearly two minutes remaining on the clock. Plenty of time for the Rams to drive it down the field. And score a game-tying field goal to send it to overtime. Then in overtime again kicking a field goal to win the game. Now saints fans are filing lawsuits in order to get the game replayed. As well as fans signing petitions for the same thing.

Referees Choosing The Winners And Losers Of The Games.


How many times do we have to complain about referees fixing games before we fix the problem of the referees? It makes me want to boycott the sport, boycott the super bowl. They’re ruining the game playing favorites. Yet year after year big time games are decided by lousy calls. We have the technology. Heck even just the average Joe watching the game from his couch. could make better judgement calls. Then most refs who are hired and paid. Sadly it continues to happen and it ruins the sport.

Hopefully the NFL, NBA, MLB, all major league sports. Will start to implement more technologically sound ways to catch obvious calls as well. As obvious plays that shouldn’t be called as fouls. As a fan of sports. It is all so very frustrating to watch games decided by refs and not by the teams playing the sport. Change is due and I feel its in the air.

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Personal Glory At The Expense Of Others #154.

Personal Glory

Winning Is Not A Zero Sum Game. Others Don’t Have To Lose For You To Prosper And Achieve Personal Glory.

We often treat it that way. We’ll step on the toes of others to get ahead in business and work. When we treat it cut throat, throats get cut, damage gets done and we leave a wake of destruction on our path. You may get ahead but is the price worth it for that small slice of personal glory. We need to be the rising tide that lifts all boats. We can still get ahead and bring others with us.

Example Of This Within The Game Of Football

Over the weekend a brilliant example of personal glory over team, as well as team over personal accolades was on display on both sides of the field. As the Green Bay Packers faced the Los Angeles Rams. One player sacrificed the greater good of the team in the hopes of personal glory while a completely different player on the opposing side did the opposite, sacrificed personal glory for the team. I bet you can guess which team won.

With two minutes remaining in the game and the Rams up by two. The Packers we’re about to receive the ball on a kick off. The receiving player was instructed to down it in the end zone to put the game in the hands of their best player the Packers quarter back.

When the player catches the kick off two yards deep in his own end zone rather than down it he chose to take it on himself to run for personal glory. In that process he was tackled and fumbled deep within his territory. Turning the ball over.

Display Of Team Over Personal Glory.

Once the ball was in the possession of the opposing team. Arguably their best player had a chance to score one more touchdown. Essentially putting the game out of reach for the other team. But unpredictable things can happen. The kicker could miss the extra point. And the other team could drive down for the touchdown and two point conversion and tie the game.

So rather than take personal glory with a touchdown. the player allowed himself to be tackled in bounds effectively sealing the win. With a few more downs of the ball they ran out the clock and claimed victory.

Work Together To Achieve Bigger Goals Than Yourself.

Now there is no guarantee had that player not fumbled the Packers would drive the field and score a game winning field goal. But had the player thought of team and listened to his coaches. He would have given the team a chance.

Kick offs have some of the highest probabilities of turn overs. Put your team ahead of just you. Your team success is your success. Other’s successes can be yours as well. Help them achieve it while your tide continues to rise.


The team that put the team first, ended up going to the Superbowl that year.

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Bidding Your Employer Farewell By Flipping The Bird To Them #149.

Over The Weekend Long Time Seahawk Great Earl Thomas Broke His Leg. And His Parting Gesture Was Flipping The Bird To The Team He Spent His Career With.

The sentiment is one I completely understand. Who hasn’t flipped the bird in utter frustration. Earl wanted the team to either extend his contract, release him from his old contract or trade him to a team that was willing to invest in him for the long term.

All of that came crumbling down over the weekend. When he was carted off the field. And in the heat of the moment when his dire situation was revealed. He chose to lash out.

In the fleeting moments of his career with the Seahawks the much beloved player let them know how much he hated them by flipping off his own sideline off. Possibly somewhat tarnishing his image in Seattle. But his frustration is understandable.

Who hasn’t been disgruntled at times with there employer? Which reached the point where you just want to tell them F you? But we refrain because we know better and it’s one of the best ways to burn bridges.

Everyone lost in this situation. Seahawks lost a valuable asset, Earl lost his contract potential, and other teams lost that wanted to trade for him.

Let This Be A Lesson That We Are Our Choices.

Don’t play the victim of your own decisions or cast them upon others. Earl chose to sign that contract. Earl chose to play in order to get paid. He chose to fulfill his obligation of a contract he was once grateful to be signing. In his choice to play Earls body was exposed to rigors of a violent sport and it was unable to hold up.

Smart Business Decisions.

The business knew he was susceptible to injury. Maybe even Earl knew too. And wanted that big pay out before getting injured. Which begs the question what if the shoe was on the other foot. Who would be taking from who in that situation? Could the Seahawk’s executives flip Earl off when he cost them millions?

The business made a great business decision to refrain from losing a lot of money. The Seahawks are a business, Earl is a business, and the NFL is a business. If they all work in tandem they all make money.

When one fails they all lose. For some that loss has a bigger magnitude then for others. Never the less we should be grateful when we get to do what we love to do. And we get paid copious amounts of money to do it.

Salary Breakdown Perspective.

Over his career Earl has made 55 million from the Seahawks. Let’s put that in perspective. The average worker makes around 60k a year. For them to save what Earl has made by his 29th year of life. It would take the average worker 916 years of saving every single penny. And never spending a dime of it. To get to that achievement.

On top of that he stands to make 8.5 million from his couch this season. The average worker that pays his salary through ticket sales and advertisement dollars would never get such luxuries. They might get disability pay while they can’t work. Which may be about two thirds there actual pay. Barely enough to ends meet.

Yet they are grateful for any sort of pay when they are unable to work. Most get nothing and have to find a way to make ends meet while injured.

Sure its a dangerous job the sport of football but so is the masonry work that built the stadiums players get to play in every week. And most of those employees are thankful to have that job. Not sure what Earl needs for financial security but I’m pretty sure he’s achieved it already.

Gratitude For The Opportunities.

Let’s just be grateful for what we have, it may all be lost tomorrow. And if we lose it, rather than acting like a petulant child that didn’t get our way. Let’s say thank you for the opportunity and use that failure to be better the next time around. Or learn to grow in new directions.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.

Sore Losers (Blowing It Scenario #137).

We All Love To Win, And For Most Of Us That Comes With A Heavy Disdain For Losing. But There Is An Appropriate Way To Win, As Well As An Appropriate Way To Lose.

As the saying goes; show me someone who loves to lose and I’ll show you a loser. That can tend to be an over-generalization of tough pill to swallow. No one enjoys losing but how we handle it is the true mark of a winner or loser. This is not something that is taught very often. Be gratuitous both in victory and in defeat.

For most of my life I thought losing was a disgraceful representation of the fact that I did not do my best in that particuar endeavour. Something to incessantly ruminate over and to continuously berate one’s self as well as sometimes that of your opposition.  It’s a loser pity party to blame those around you or beat yourself up over the loss. You do have to take full accountability of your actions and the loss. But beating yourself up over it and not looking for ways to improve is a true loss.

Losing is simply just a lesson on ways to improve. It does not mean you didn’t try your hardest or do the best you could possibly do. Sometimes you are just outplayed by your opponent and that is a good thing. It means you still have a lot of room to grow, room to improve. It doesn’t always come down to not doing your best, your best may not be good enough in that moment. And in that moment thank your competitor for giving you a gift, the gift of discovery. You now have a new blueprint on finding ways to improve. Maybe you didn’t put in the amount of time and practice you competition did. Maybe you don’t communicate with your team or you’re just not as in sync as your opponents were. There are always ways to improve. Thank your competition in the midst of defeat for showing you those new methods.

Recently at a “Madden” gaming tournament in Jacksonville Florida a lone gun man who had earlier been eliminated from the tournament. Took losing to the ultimate extremes by channeling his aggression for both the loss and I’m sure for life in general. In to attacking and killing fellow players along with himself.  This is truly a disgusting display on every level, not just of how not to lose but how not to live life. Our hearts go out to the victims of this tragedy. It’s a lesson that we can all do more to improve. We all lose when tragedies like this strike. Now that we have lost the question remains how will we use this loss to be better in the future?

Not Allowing Performance Enhancing Drugs In Sports #132.

Performance Enhancing Drugs

Make Sports Great Again. With Performance Enhancing Drugs.

All athletes should be able to take performance enhancing drugs. Just require them to disclose which ones they use.

Performance Enhancing Drugs

If you are of the, “purest, that’s cheating in sports” camp. Than I have news for you. There is just about absolutely no original purity left in any sport. Performances are constantly being enhanced in every aspect of the game. Every year, every professional athlete, and every sporting good manufacturer. Are all out there finding new ways to edge out their competitors.

They Work Every Single Angle To Enhance Their Performance.

Better equipment, better training regiments, better technology, better statistics, better supplements, better nutrition. It all adds up. Not to mention everyone’s body chemistry is different. So one player who has more natural testosterone than another maybe able to train harder. One may have a higher IQ. Another better agility and flexibility. Some things in nature are just luck of the draw.

On Top Of That How Much More Advanced Is The Equipment These Players Use Today Than They Did Ten, Twenty, Fifty Years Ago?

Light years differences in some instances. Tennis rackets, bicycles, golf clubs, footwear, gloves, clothing, feedback monitors. The list keeps growing. Football players now use performance enhancing gloves that stick like glue to the football. Where as a player getting tackled, can still catch a ball one handed and with three fingers.

Better footwear for runners, and all sports for that matter. Along with better fabrics with less resistance. Better wicking technology, which leads to better suits for swimmers. Technology has improved in other areas such as lighter rackets for tennis players. And lighter bicycles for riders. Even better training equipment.

We’re constantly enhancing every area. Why punish a player for attempting to enhance their body unnaturally. Sure it’s with unnatural chemicals. But so are current hydration methods. Most popular beverages for athletes are filled with unnatural chemicals.

If We Want To Be Purest.

We should require all players to only drink water, only use cotton clothing, flat shoes, limited padding, maybe go back to leather helmets, or none at all. All sports golf and baseball included can use only solid heavy wood equipment. And we can go back to kicking pig blatters.

The point is everything evolves, including sports. It’s more entertaining to watch apex elite athletes get even better than what the human body is usually capable of. Maybe that’s just me but I believe performance enhancing drugs should be available to all players who are willing to take that risk to improve that much more.

Slumps (Blowing It Scenario #112)

We All Get Into Them And The Only Way To Beat It Is To Play Through It.

No matter what it be; sport, writing, marriage, dating. We will all hit a slump at some point. In sports you see it all the time. In basketball shooters can’t hit a shot to save their life. Kickers will miss wide in football, while passers will miss there open targets. In dating you’ll feel like a misfit a complete social outcast at certain points. You feel like you couldn’t buy yourself a date if you wanted to. In marriage you’ll at times feel if your with the wrong person that there is an awkwardness that you didn’t see in the beginning. With writing, just yesterday I told someone I felt like I was in a slump that day. And there was my answer staring me right in the face, write about slumping. Because the only answer to a slump is to not give into it, but it’s to play through it.

The best way to get your rhythm back is to find the easy shot. Be it an actual shot in sport, or a metaphorical shot in life situation. It’s all the same, find a way to get some easy chances at getting back to being whole and focused. In basketball a shooter that is slumping might get himself fouled in order to get to the free throw line. Where they have a few easy attempts at shooting the ball. Kickers have it tough with the new extra point rule in football. They used to have a really easy extra point kick so if they were slumping the extra points would back focused that’s not so much the case anymore. So when they slump they tend to stay in it for the entire game. It’s not until the players can see there action go through the net or the uprights that they can mentally get back into the game. A quarterback who’s missing targets might start to throw a lot of short check down passes to get back into rhythm. And once he does, watch out for the big plays, because his confidence is back and he’s ready to sling it.

In dating if you can’t seem to find the dates you want, or almost everyone seems to turn you down, you might have to just take the first person willing to go out with you. Not to say it in a bad way but take the easiest shot. It might not work out but it will help to boost your confidence in that arena, and you’ll see the suitors come calling afterwards.

In marriage, if your slumping, do the little things, the easy things. Sometimes it might be too late but at least you’ll know in your next relationship to never slack on the small stuff; communication, affection, and attention. As for me and writing this. It was my answer to my slump, write what you know what your going through and it’s the easiest form writing. Key word to all this is easiest. Start at easy and when you get that down, slowly increase the intensity and difficulty till you’ve completely broken through any slump.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.

Blowing It Scenario #108-Professional Referees.

When Will We Finally Replace This Consistent Human Error As Part Of Sport?

Last night was game one of the 2018 NBA Finals I watched as the Cleveland Cavaliers were about to pull off an improbable upset on the road against the Golden State Warriors. The Cavs were going to win they had it, they made all the right moves down the stretch but something strange happened in the last few minutes. The refs got involved, making poor call after poor call in favor of the warriors, totally handing the game to the them. I counted about five bad calls in the fourth quarter that stole points from the Cavs and gave them to the Warriors. Two clean strips called for fouls, a charge that was reviewed, even though it wasn’t a review-able play, which was over turned and given to the warrior to shoot two. Even though the in house ref called it a charge. An ejection for a simple foul that started a fight. It was horrendous to watch as a fan of sports. But this article is not about that game, it’s just an example. Which there are so many of.

The refs can literally decide games and they do it all the time. So when will we finally admit refs are bad for the game? And I’m talking all games football, baseball, soccer, basketball. Humans are fallible and have biases. Every sport I watch I feel referees interfere with the action constantly. It makes me not want to watch sports. Yes they serve a purpose to enforce the rules but with the technology we have now they can easily be replaced with machines that can get the calls right every time. Heck what is the point of an umpire when we literally watch on the screen an image of a strike zone and the dots where the pitches land within that zone? There is absolutely no need for that umpire.

Some might argue it’s tradition to maintain referees. Well my argument to that is tradition flew out the window years ago. Every year “traditional rules” are changed in every sport. Should we go back to the leather helmets football players wore when the sport first began because it’s traditional? It’s time we evolve sports, because when common fans are getting the calls right more often then the refs, all by just watching the game at home on their high definition televisions something is inherently wrong. It’s time we replace the refs.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.