Mindset Archives - Page 3 of 6

February 12, 2019July 17, 2019

Avoiding Boredom #183.

Welcome Boredom, Embrace The Suck Of Life And Be Rewarded.

All to often we will do anything within our capabilities in order to avoid getting bored, it’s boredom avoidance. And it’s a system that is made all to easy to fall into. By constant entertainment that is always within arms reach. All we need to do is press our hands in to our pockets or purses. To find that little miracle entertainment machine we call a smart phone.

Our Boredom Avoidance.

Bored in line, grab the smart phone. Bored at the dinner table, grab the smart phone. Or if you’re bored in conversation, you guessed it, smart phone saves the day again. Heck even when we get bored with digital entertainment we’ll grab a different digital device to entertain us from entertainment. This is not to say it’s wrong to use these devices. The point I’m making is it’s far too easy to escape. And when we have such easy access to make these escapes. We tend to choose them over almost all other things boredom especially. But boredom is where progress is made.

Why We Embrace The Boredom.

Writing is not necessarily always stimulating but the more I do it, the more I progress in the discipline. And with those progressions the better I get and hopefully the more people I might reach. Within that reach, maybe these words affect other individuals in a positive way. It’s the same for all disciplines, all growth, all work.

Like the coder who stays up late in front of the computer. Or the football player practicing foot work and timing or the perfect spiral. Each line of code, each pass of the football may become monotonous and mundane. But if you can become repetitious and comfortable in that mode. Where you can accept and embrace the boredom of it all. As well as the times where it just plain sucks, you have the potential to become great. So be bored and find a way to love it because great things can happen in that realm. Progress is boring sometimes, celebrate that fact.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.

February 6, 2019July 18, 2019

Comparing Yourself To Others #182.

Comparing Yourself To Others Is The Fast Track To Unhappiness.

No matter if you fall short of your hopeful comparison twin or exceed them you will only come to find that race is one that is never won. You are either trying to keep up, following in someone else’s shadow or you surpass them only to be left unfulfilled knowing that it was all in vain. And to keep going you need a new benchmark you’ll be comparing yourself too. Know that it means nothing if you’re living someone else’s ambitions. You will get nothing rewarding back from that.

Examples Of Comparisons.

Same goes for the families who compare there kids to others or there houses or cars to others. What they have over what you have or visa versa. When you compare yourself to others you look for ways that you are better than them. And in that process you alienate yourself from true connection. It comes from a jealous place in your heart. You can never truly be happy for another if you are always trying to outdo that other.

Maybe it’s a friend or relative, maybe it’s someone famous that you are envious of and want to emulate there life or have a better life a better family with more wealth and a higher social status. You’ll chase it so show others you made it but no matter how you spin it’s a depressing chase.

Build Your Own Image. One That Others Want To Emulate.

Listen to any great, When they are compared to other greats they thank those making the comparison for including them in the same sentence but assure them they are working towards there own legacy. They aren’t comparing themselves to others because they’re to busy working on their own ways to improve themselves. The only thing they’re comparing themselves to is themselves and how they can incrementally improve on what they have done in the past. They are carving they’re own path. One others can depressing try to follow and keep up with. Or instead, they can abandon other’s trails altogether and begin to blaze their own forward. Because on that path you can worry not what others think, do, or say, while you’re happy and fulfilled doing things your own way.

February 4, 2019July 19, 2019

The Fear Of Imperfection #181.

Fearing Imperfection Is One Of Our Biggest Road Blocks To Progress.

It’s a bit a of a catch 22. How is it possible that wanting to achieve perfection in our endeavors actually keeps us from pursuing those very ambitions? Or more often we’ll get close to our goal. And the imperfection will hold us back from finishing because it’s just not quite right. It’s not perfect.

We’ll start a project only to give up half way into it. Or we’ll quit when we might be inches away from the breakthrough. Or worst of all, we’ll avoid starting altogether because we don’t feel we can complete the task well enough for other eyes or ears to see and hear.

These our own insecurities that we must master. We have to banish the fear and launch forward regardless of imperfections. Yes we want to put out quality out into the world but we can’t let perfection prevent us from ever putting anything out there. We can always continue to iterate after creation, after we put it out into the world. I’ve said it a thousand times, beauty and perfection reside within the imperfections. Nature doesn’t halt in order to make the perfect plant or animal, each and every thing is unique and it all has it’s place. Wonderful imperfections that should be celebrated.

Work With Imperfection To Achieve Results

So write your articles and post them even if they are not quite perfect, give your imperfect speeches. Launch your imperfect business or invention. Raise your faulty children. Grow your flawed garden. Sometimes it’s ugly and that’s okay, with each ugly rendition comes new ways to make it prettier, new ways to improve. And whats wrong with ugly anyway? What might be ugly to some, could be the most radiant beauty to others. Find your audience and when you do stop carrying what other people think about your work or how you do things. And if you find yourself worrying about being perfect know that you’re doing something wrong and most likely comparing yourself to others. Regardless of what you do, know that it’s perfect, even if it’s not so perfect, just go for it and don’t let anything stand in your way.

December 21, 2018July 23, 2019

Failing To Understand Failure And Success Follow The Same Principles #172.

Cut From The Same Cloth Both Success and Failure Start Slow Than Come All At Once.

The key is paying attention to the consistent micro actions you are participating in. Is it one of future failure or one of future success? Each action builds over time till one day you become exactly what your actions dictated. Do you look at your significant other lovingly or with scorn and annoyance? Do you feel they are a burden or an asset?

Small Actions

Small actions will show through no matter how you hide your feelings. Do you work everyday to improve your station in life or are you living paycheck to paycheck. Do you spend frivolously or do you spend conservatively? Each minor purchase is a tell tale sign of where your finances will be.

Do you pass on the veggies and go straight for refined starches or do you workout daily and cut out junk food? We’re all skinny until one day we’re all of a sudden fat, over weight and lethargic.

It All Adds Up.

Or some of us might be overweight till one day we have others commenting on how fit we look. None of it happens over night. Success is a long process of small decisions and actions. A slow simmer before the boil.

Trust me the simplest acts are always adding up. You may believe an action isn’t anything other than a passing moment of time with no consequence. This line of thinking can cost you dearly.

Micro Adjustments

If you neglect to focus on or fail to see that your glance, your remark, your body language is all playing into a bigger picture. Than you will be blindsided when your house of cards comes crumbling down. But if you pay attention and course correct early on, at the onset of slightest misstep. Those micro adjustments can have major ramifications over time and distance. If you’re off one degree over the span of the earth you will miss your destination by hundreds if not thousands of miles. That is why we must always course correct. Mistakes as well as successes compound over time.

How Did We Get Here?

We are exactly where we are because we put ourselves there. No amount of wants or desires will show through without a equal level of actions that put you in that life scenario. You may say you want something but your actions might betray that desire.

No one ever says I want to be poor, I want to be divorced, I want to be in prison. Yet I guarantee if you trace back all the individuals who are where they want to be or not where they want to be. With every single one of them you will find a well trodden path to that destination. Their very own perfect trail of actions that led them down that road. They may not even see it for themselves. You might have to uncover a few bushes or hidden shrubbery. But clear as day you will find the path.

Proper Actions.

Just keep etching your trail towards the better, make adjustments along the way. Ask for directions when you need to. Your partner and those closest to you are best suited to tell you where you might need to make adjustments. But when you look back at your accomplishments you’ll know it was a slow process getting there than all of a sudden one day you were there.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.

December 1, 2018July 26, 2019

The Fear Of Missing Out (Blowing It Scenario #164)

It’s A Easy Fix, If Have A Fear Of Missing Out On Something. Simply Change What You Desire Or That Which You Value Most.

Easier said than done most will say. Some might even fear change itself. That’s a very tough predicament to find yourself in, with all those elevated levels of fear. For those of you who are fearful of many things, such as fear of missing out, or the fear of change. There is a solution and its not glamorous.

Routine Is Your Salvation.

No magic pills just hard work. Embrace that which you are most afraid to change. Lean into that fear, make the change. Do it day in and day out and just never stop doing it till it becomes habitual. You won’t even have to think about it. Tough at first but second nature after a period of time and repetition. It may take a month to build the new habit or a lifetime of focus. It really comes down to how you view it. If you feel its a struggle, it will be one. However, if you feel you are working on mastering your mind and body. It will be a trans-formative and enjoyable experience.

A friend of mine who struggles with drug usage. Reached out to another friend of mine who struggles with enabling in help through financial means.

The drug user friend knows exactly who to reach out to get the form of “help” he needs, usually financial. And he’ll tug on their heart strings with messages like “I’m homeless can you help” or “I’m out of gas and need money.” Many generous friends have given this individual a lot of money over the years. Only to watch him squander it on drugs and gambling.

How To Change.

These friends now know after thousands of dollars spent trying to help. That their contribution isn’t helpful at all. In fact it has the adverse effect and the only thing that will help this individual is change. Change he is afraid to make but it’s supremely necessary.

Change Your Environment.

First he’ll need to change his environment, ditch the people closet to you. Negative “friends” will drag you down with them given the opportunity and misery loves company. He needs to get them completely out of his life. Then work on changing habits, desires and values. You would have to desire change and not just spare change for the next fix, actual change. Which I believe most people want.

Guide Your Actions, Make It Emotional.

Here is how the drug user could help himself. Wake up every morning at the exact same time. Wake at 6 am, then workout, then write a journal about your recovery. Full of emotion and feeling and how you are going to make that one day better than the last. If you want, post it online to help other individuals in their recovery. Eat a healthy natural breakfast full of fruits and vegetables, eat that throughout the day. Go to work, if you can’t find work, volunteer.

Just keep yourself from being idle throughout the day. As the saying goes idle hands are the devils tools. It’s a very true statement, if you don’t have productive activity that’s where bad things find root. And don’t just vacantly say you will do these things, do them because in the famous words of John D. Rockefeller, “words without deeds are like a garden full weeds.” Lastly set a sleep time and routine for every evening, stick to it religiously. This is the way to help that friend, he has to help himself.

I’ll say it again routine is the salvation. He may not understand it, and he may not recognize it right now. But he is already in a negative pattern, a negative routine, it’s a cycle. He has a fear of missing out, and he’s afraid to change. But if you fear missing out on night life or drinks and doing drugs, change your desires.

Prioritize.

Make sleep the choice you prioritize, something you are unwilling to miss out on. Value moments throughout your day with friends. Take that time to create things, rather then consume or simply enjoy great conversation. Make a good cut off time every evening for alone wind down time and ultimately bed time.

Value your time alone, don’t feel that you always need to be in company. And when you are in company make the best of it. Just choose better desires and better values. Than continue to act on those and life will change for the better around you.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.

November 30, 2018July 26, 2019

Strike While The Iron Is Hot #163.

Strike While The Iron Is Hot, The Only Thing That Should Prevent You Is Other Hotter Irons.

Strike while the iron is hot is some of the best advice their is. So simple in its message, so succinct. Yet we often don’t heed it till its far too late. And what once was hot is now ice cold no long malleable.

Jump at opportunities the moment they present themselves. Don’t wait around believing these opportunities will always be there. The irons always grow cold with time. And what once was an incredible possibility, is now a memory of what could have been.

Even if you’re slightly uncertain if its something you want to pursue. At the very least try it out. Just except it conditionally, than do your research, and if you find it’s something definitely not for you, you can than decline.

We Believe It Will Always Be Available.

So many of us often believe that if something or someone presents themselves to us that we have this unlimited time frame. That that opportunity will always be available to us. If it happens once it can happen again, right? This more often than not isn’t the case. We simply miss the boat and when we finally decide we want to catch it we’re left to swim after it, almost destined to never to draw near again, just simply treading water in it’s wake.

That’s not to say it can’t happen with tenacity and relentlessness. You can eventually catch back up but wouldn’t you have rather caught it when you had the chance to simply walk aboard. If it’s a ship your weary of, just be sure to bring an extra life boat and some survival gear. It might be in for the ride of your life. Or after inspection you deem it to be something that is not seafaring and will potentially sink with you aboard, get off before you set sail.

At least you said yes and than did your research which turned into a no. These are all just metaphors for take the chance. You never want to look back on a life less lived and think to yourself I wish I would have just jumped at that opportunity.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.

November 13, 2018August 13, 2019

Think And Grow Rich #156.

You Will Accomplish Zero By Applying The Think and Grow Rich Principle. Thoughts Without Action Will Render Nothing. Think As Much As You Want. Than Go Ahead And Multiple That Thinking By A Billion. The Math Will Always Add Up The Same. Zero Times Anything Is Still Zero.

We love to eat up the notion brought forth by new age movement. That we can literally think our way to riches. An idea made popular by Napoleon Hill in his seminal work Think and Grow Rich.

It’s such an easily romanticized idea. If we just keep our minds fixated on something that we truly want we will eventually magically receive it. Books like the secret, the answer. All books based on this notion. I’d like to know how many have actually put this to the test to no avail?

Many Self Help Gurus Espouse The Same Information.

It’s simply regurgitated from one to the next over and over again. Law of attraction they call it, as if its innate in nature. One of the natural laws similar to gravity. Yet many of these so called gurus make their living by simply copying and pasting this overused unoriginal concept. They just pick the low hanging fruit and eventually get there wealth by telling other people it’s just that easy.

I once bought into to the lies of Napoleon. I’ve tried many affirmations. At one point for three months straight I set an alarm for every hour of the day and when that alarm went off, I would say my affirmations. It seems crazy but I wanted to test the validity.

All it got me was disappointment with my current life. No magical blessing of what I was asking the universe for, no handouts, nothing. As a matter of fact, the more I thought of these things, the further I seemed to push them away. I lost quite a bit trying to reaffirm them in life. I did not think and grow rich. It’s funny how that works you chase something so hard you sometimes ultimately end up pushing it further away.

The Lies Of Napoleon Hill

It wasn’t until I read about the real Napoleon Hill that it all clicked. The man was a complete fraud, a huckster and a swindler, a true charlatan. He would start fraudulent businesses and steal money from people. It wasn’t until he wrote “Think And Grow Rich” that he made an honest dollar and even than none of it was honest.

There Is No Proof Of Napoleon Hill Ever Meeting Andrew Carnegie.

The validity of this book was predicated on the notion that the information was coming from an individual who reached the upper echelon in life and business. Hill’s claim to have studied the wealthy and that he was hired and taught all this by Andrew Carnegie, one of the most wealthy men in history was a complete lie. There is no record anywhere of Hill ever meeting Carnegie a claim Hill started making ten years after the death of Carnegie. If you ever want to dig deeper into it I suggest reading The Untold Story Of Napoleon Hill.

This Is Not To Say Mind Isn’t A Powerful Tool That Doesn’t Play A Role In Your Growth.

Mental training is a huge part of success. It just coincides with the work. It can be as simple as belief in yourself that you can achieve what you want. And than go out and do it and keep doing it till one day like magic you achieve your desires. Where the body goes the mind will follow. Just do and don’t stop doing. Do not wait for some spark or try to think your way to motivation. Just keep working.

The Work Ethic Of Drew Brees.

If you were fortunate enough to catch Drew Brees (one of the greatest quarter backs in NFL history) a man that by all means was never supposed to make it in the NFL. He was too short for the position and to add to that he had a near career ending injury and the team that drafted him thought he was done and traded him away because of it. But he worked incredibly hard to get back on top and ultimately would break the all time passing yards record.

No other quarterback has ever done what he has done and the first thing he did when he broke the record was he went over to his family grabbed sons and simply gave them the best one line piece of advice you could give anyone. He said “how about that huh boys? I love you guys so much. Hey, you can accomplish anything in life if you’re willing to work for it, right.” And there in lies “the answer.” “The secret” is hidden in plain sight. Are you willing to work for it?

It’s Not Some Lazy Magic Pill Of Thinking Your Way To Growth.

Many of these self help books do in fact actually help a lot of people. But only if you use them to take action and continue to do so every single day. Dreams are just dreams until you build them and plans are simply plans until you follow through with them. It’s not until you put in the work that nature begins to reward. You start with an idea, than once you build it, you can “think” your way to enhancements. The mind can then sharpen the tools that are already in service.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don't, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.

September 8, 2018July 2, 2019

Why Not Attitude (Blowing It Scenario #146).

Decisions Made In The Absence Of A Why.

If I asked you why you would do something, maybe I gave you an irresponsible choice. And you responded with, “why not?” It would be a somewhat aggressive stance to take against finding your why.

One of the ways it’s the right choice is if you are potentially looking to find your why and asking yourself why not. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Scan your mind to find the answer why not to do some. In doing so you are separating the two, why, and not. First find the why, and if it leads you to a not, you will have the information needed to steer clear of any given task. But start with why, simply ending at why not is hardly an answer. Why not, can tend to be a diminishing stance that works on the negative, a diminutive argument that avoids the positive growth question of why. If you’re committing damaging acts all around you as well as within you, to your mind, body, spirit and to property as well as those around you and your carefree answer to it all is why not. You are aimless in your pursuits, not only aimless you are destructive. Like a driver asleep behind the wheel. It’s only a matter of time before you crash. Better hope that when you do, you don’t take anyone else down with you. Or better yet just wake up and start going the right direction.

There is only one positive side to why not, and that is if there are so many whys that you simply cannot find a reason not to. A friend ask to travel the world with them, your answer may be, “absolutely, why not.” In your heart you know the positives out way the negative but an answer may arise that leads you to why you cannot go. Possibly don’t have the finances for it, or don’t have the time for it. This is an example of you actively looking for a reason not to do something in this case you are operating in full use of the why not question to find your not. But if you find there’s a strong enough why, you will move heaven and earth just to get to it.

If you haven’t noticed yet I used over twenty whys in this article. That was by design, use the word often, allow it to be a guide, avoid its avoidance, Follow your why and you and the world around you will beat a path to straight to it.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.

August 30, 2018July 2, 2019

Zero Leverage (Blowing it Scenario #141).

You Can’t Expect To Change An Outcome Or Lift A Heavy Load Without Leverage.

A recent strike of the operators union in my home state has shut down a lot of construction. While it was going on, I overheard a construction worker say he doesn’t imagine it will last long. He assumed when the operators bills come due they’ll need to accept what they get and go back to work. He believed that the fact that they have house payments, car payments, credit card payments, etc. that they wouldn’t be able to hold out long to get what they truly want. And that got me thinking; sadly, that is the way of life for most people.

When we’re leveraged to the hilt with debt we have absolutely zero leverage everywhere else in life to challenge the status quo. Maybe our economy was designed that way, to give workers just enough to get by, and stay somewhat content. Employers don’t want employees trying to rock the boat or make any changes that may benefit the worker but cost the employer. So the more debt you acquire the better it is for the employer. You will do anything and everything to keep that job. Never strike, never rise up against them, never ask for anything you think is beyond what you deserve. And since you have settled, the likelihood of you asking for more is slim to none and employers know this. It’s why some employers want your financial history statement before you start work. So employers will encourage you to buy that house buy that car on credit. They will tell you that you will do so well under the employ; that you deserve to treat yourself now because you’ll be able to afford it later. Than when you want change you’ll be heavily under their thumb.

A life without debt gives you leverage, wealth gives you leverage, the more skills you acquire gives you leverage. If you are stuck in a job that you feel you can’t get out of, learn more skills. Make yourself unexpendable so you have leverage to negotiate more within that system. Within any system, be it a relationship, work or personal. Learn new skills in order to completely control the paradigm or leave that rat race behind. Start a business, be your own boss. Stay out of personal debt. Give yourself true leverage, only then will you begin to move heaven and earth to get to where you truly want to be.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.

August 27, 2018July 2, 2019

Rigidity, Inflexibility (Blowing It Scenario #136)

Our Answers Are Not Always The Right Ones, And Should Never Be Treated Like They’re The Only Ones.

Rigidness is good if you are trying to create a new habit or new positive routine to stick to. You must stick to the routine with the utmost discipline. Be inflexible and don’t waiver. Wake at the same time, set your day exactly how you want it and keep it going, stay repetitive, don’t break the chain. Set deadlines and stick to them with rigid fervor. However, remember the immortal words of Bruce Lee, “the stiff tree cracks and breaks under strong wind while the sapling bends and sways with it.” To survive the storms of life sometimes you need to be flexible.

When it comes to information and working with others we have to exercise patients. We have to be adaptable and most certainly we have to be flexible. No two people are alike. Everyone comes from a different background than our own. We must be cognizant of that fact and not force our will upon another. If we feel we have pertinent knowledge that can help another, we must guide them. Not control them, but enlightened them. And if they have knowledge that counters your own, accept them. For they are not wrong, they just have differing beliefs than your own and that is a good thing. They could have even more enlightened answers to the questions we are all in search of. Try not to be incapable of such open mindedness. Do not be incapacitated by your own self worth. Let others assist your growth and be malleable. At the very least hold strong to your beliefs but don’t let that completely affect your work with others.

Listen to other individuals; it’s one of the most important traits we can cultivate within ourselves. Even if you believe they are working from completely false pretenses. They still deserve to have a voice, and a helpful guiding ear to hear them out. This article is simply just how one person feels. There can be a limitless number of opposing viewpoints and I welcome those discussions. I want to know what others view as their truths, their right and wrong answers. Come at life with a beginners mind even when you think you have all the right answers.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.