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Not Proving Doubters Wrong. Avoiding Blowing It #254.

Proving Doubters Wrong

Proving Doubters Wrong Is One, If Not Thee Best Source Of Motivation.

It’s what pushes you to that next level. You hear it all the time in professional sports. Championship teams love their underdog status. They love proving doubters wrong.

Doubt me?

Okay I’m going to play better then you ever expected. My mission is to prove your assessment of my abilities was so far off base. That you will pay for such a thought. I will go so much farther then you ever thought I could. That will show you. You completely misjudged me.

Proving Doubters Wrong

This is the thought process of some of the elites among us. No one gives us more motivation then the doubters.

It’s the people that challenge us the most that push us far beyond what we might have thought we were capable of. Or we may have thought we were capable of it but just needed that little extra push.

It’s another log to fuel the fire.

Recently a basketball player who had his best night of the season. In his post game interview he thanked a tweet from someone he had never met. Because that person said it looked like he lost the fire in his eye for the game of basketball. These moments are all around us.

Use doubt as a motivator. Find someone or something anything that represents their doubt and reminds you of that fire burning inside you. And use it to just keep adding logs to that growing fire inside.

Welcome their disrespect with open arms. If someone tells you it can’t be done. That is when turn on the jets and show them it can be and you will.

Never give in to what negative beliefs others may have of you. Prove to those doubters that they just made the biggest mistake of their lives betting against you.

The Momentum Diet. Avoiding Blowing It #251

The Momentum Diet

The Momentum Diet Is An Idea To Focus Strictly Gradually Building Momentum.

The Momentum Diet

Let’s call all diet or life change what it really is. And that is simply willing your body and mind into building momentum. The initial phase of the momentum diet is the most difficult but as you get going it gets easier and easier till you’re chugging along like a freight trains and and that point it becomes difficult to stop you.

The Momentum diet is about never breaking the chain. We have all heard the story of Jerry Seinfeld chain method. Get yourself calendar and day one when you start your change put a x through the date each consecutive day you do your intended change put another X through the date. Soon you’ll have a chain and a process.

The best way to build momentum is gradually at first. Work up to the monster goal so you don’t get overwhelmed. If you want to run a marathon and have never ran a day in your life you are not going to lace up your shoes and simply run 26.2 miles day one. You might start with one mile, then two and so and and so forth.

With a new diet you might cut out one food group first. Or you could start minimizing intake of that food group until you can fully cut it out. Maintain the plan and structure checkpoints to add a new challenge. And once you have that under control add the next, just never break the chain.

Remember it’s about building momentum don’t try to do everything at once. You don’t need cheat days if you do it gradually. Cheat days break the chain and if you tie enough of those together soon you have momentum going in the opposite direction for you.

I will say when something has taken full control of your mind as in the case with drugs and alcohol. Moderation quitting will not work. You have to commit fully to never touching the stuff again. This is your momentum it just comes with maximum force in the beginning. Know the harder the addiction the more work it will be. With that pain comes far deeper rewards.

Want to quit social media or unnecessary screen time? Set a timer. What can you limit yourself too in one day? Is it one hour, two, maybe three? Find a good starting point with a plan to continuously minimize. Many times it will feel uncomfortable at first. You’re breaking years sometimes decades of bad habits. But the best way to succeed is to focus on the momentum you are gaining.

Making Excuses To Quit Before You Have Reached Your Goal. Avoiding Blowing It #248


Never Make Excuses, Just Always Compete, Never Give Up, Get And Then Keep Your Momentum.

We often toil over if we made the right decision or decisions in life. And if we should continue forward on the path we’re on. If it’s a good path but we don’t “feel it” we fire up the excuses mechanism in our brain. We might tell ourselves any number of things that we’re impostors, that it’s not the right fit, that we’ve out grown it. Sometimes it’s necessary to throw in the towel but it you have set yourself a goal and you’re still along ways away for achieving that goal. It is no time to quit. It is time to dig your heals in and work that much harder.

Kobe Bryant recently passed away. The man was an ultimate competitor, hands down. It showed in every arena he played in not just in basketball but also life. He left so many priceless gems on what it takes to compete at the highest level and one of the best I’ve seen is a text message he sent to John Antobelli another passenger and friend of Kobe who passed away along side him and his daughter in the horrifically sad helicopter crash that took 9 lives in total.

After John, a coach of a college baseball team, experienced only a two game losing streak. Kobe said to him in a text, “By all means, Feel sorry for yourself, By all means make excuses. By all means feel discouraged. By all means don’t play like this game is the most important thing to you. By all means entertain yourself with other sh*t because the game of baseball will be here forever and you will have infinite opportunities to play this game. You will [have] infinite opportunities to put on your gear, feel the glove, the ball, etc. The game of baseball will wait for you. Life will wait for you. It’s not as life can be taken away from you at any moment. Nooo that would be crazy, that would be cruel. Right? So, by all means, play the game as if [you] will have all the swings you can dream of and when the day comes when you realize baseball, that life doesn’t work that way, you will understand that the best [way] to play is by ANY MEANS necessary. By any means. No excuses. No waiting. F*ck patience. F*ck injuries and f*ck THEM. PLAY as if every at bat may be ur last because it very f*cking well could be. So let’s make every single f*cking one count. Lets go get these f*ckers!”

That is and always will be some of the best life advice one can receive. We don’t have unlimited at bats in the game of life. We have to make the opportunities count while we’re still here on this earth. Lets work to constantly work to improve, to develop ourselves because that job is never done.

This site and my writing on it has been dormant for weeks. Why, because I chose to tell myself with a name like blowing it I’m attracting that into my life. It was an excuse to stop working. To think about calling it quits. To move on to the next project before my goal for this one was finished. But it’s bull crap this site is not about blowing it. It’s about success, its about recovery, it’s about trying to get better, it’s about falling on your ass and getting right back up again. Not sitting dormant making excuses on why not to do something.

Throughout writing I have attracted so many beautiful things into my life. I’ve consistently been on a journey of self discovery. I’ve learned a tremendous amount from others as well. This site has and always will be open to all. It’s an invitation to join in that for yourself, to expand the conversation, and to not make excuses for giving up. To constantly push through failure and arrive at the success you desire on the other side.

Shoulding On People. Avoiding Blowing It #242


Stop Shoulding On Yourself And Everyone Around You And Just Do The Should.

I am very guilty of this. Many times through out my writing I suggest what people should do. We should all over others but mostly we should all over ourselves. It happens far too much. Hell this article is a should of not shoulding.

The point being that should is an implied try, not a firm commitment of anything. It’s simply a think about doing something. Maybe in a different way then what your you are currently doing. But you’re not really required to do that new something.

That’s why shoulding on ourselves is so dangerous. We know we need a change so we’ll say to ourselves we should make that change. But since we don’t have a firm commitment to it, we’ll except the should as yet another postponement to get around to eventually.

I think the definition of should could be, kind of wanting to something but not really and if you can find an excuse to avoid it you most like will.

That’s why when we find ourselves saying we should do something. We need to immediately drop what we’re doing and take the tiniest action towards that goal. This way we start to clean up the mess should has left all over our lives. If you find yourself saying, “I should learn to play the guitar.” You have 5 seconds to go find a guitar and strum some chords. If you say, “I should write that novel.” You have 5 seconds to find the nearest piece of paper and write the first sentence.


Use the word should as the spring board of action. Instead of the crutch to inaction. If we know we should do something just do it. Don’t justify putting it off any longer with the language we choose to use. Should is not eventually, it is now. Do it now.

The New Years Day Dreaded Hangover. Avoiding Blowing It #241.

New Years

If You Are Like Many Around The World You Might Be Waking Today A Little Worse For The Wear With The Dreaded New Years Day Hangover.

It’s funny how we will make resolutions for big changes but set ourselves up for defeat on day one. We stay up all night ring in New Years with other with friends and strangers. And in that festive mood we over indulge. Handicapping us for the next day. The actual beginning of the new year and the first day of our newly committed resolutions.

New Years

It’s not just the hangover from drinking that gets you either. If you are like many, you go to bed at a reasonable hour most nights. Staying up past 12 is uncommon and when you do, you throw your body off routine. Now you get the poor sleep hangover and you don’t even need to drink for that to happen.

Not everyone does the traditional late night ring in the new year. There are some that may have been very responsible. Went to bed early and celebrated the New Years morning with a great physical activity or a creative art endeavor that they vowed to themselves to complete. That is probably the best way to start off any new year plans of change. Put your best foot forward immediately. If you have change in mind you have to be that change always.

Whatever it is you want, you have to commit to that long before you set out on a festive night. So that when you get to that festive evening your habits and conviction are stronger then the urge to derail yourself. That being said New Years can be a tremendous amount of fun for some. I’m not insinuating don’t enjoy it. Just be conscientious of what you are doing to yourself in particular settings. Especially if you’re trying to make changes.

One specific day for a resolution is nonsense anyway and difficult to maintain no matter who you are. If you want change it takes re-commitment on a daily basis so everyday turns into a new new years resolution. So specific dates don’t actually matter. January 1st, February 6th, May 20th none of it matters its all the same commitment if you are serious. And over indulging in anything before these arbitrary dates will set you up for defeat. However you celebrate welcome to 2020. Lets make it an amazing year.

Waiting For Inspiration. Avoiding Failure #227


Inspiration Doesn’t Come In The Waiting. It Comes In The Doing.

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

You will never be able to sit and wait for inspiration to strike you. Waiting is inspiration’s antithesis. Inspiration fades fast if you do nothing. Wanting helps increase desire. It helps to push you forward to engage in actions directed at achievement.

But wanting also can increase depression and dissatisfaction. You cannot be content and at peace in life if you are also dissatisfied with that life. The two are like oil and water they just don’t mix. However dissatisfaction can be the most powerful motivator. It will push you farther than you ever imagined. The highest achievers among us, are usually the most dissatisfied. But it comes with that high price of when is anything enough?

How Do We Balance That Driving Force Of Dissatisfaction, With Gratitude For The Life We Currently Have, All In Order To Create The Life We Want?

I think the only possibility for this is in isolation.

Isolate the areas you want change in and don’t let it affect the others. Be happy and content with the family you chose but never let the dissatisfaction from possibly the work your currently doing affect that family. Just because you’re dissatisfied in one area of life, doesn’t mean it has to cascade into all areas.

Or we could possibly use a “this/and method.” We can tell ourselves we are grateful for this and we also want that. That way we are only adding to the possibilities. We don’t always have to lose in order to gain.

No matter the possibilities without steady actions. Doing it regularly, even when you don’t feel like it. Inspiration will evaporate. And all that will be left is a list of broken dreams and wants you’re never due to receive.

Neglecting The Third Option Failure #226

Third Option

There Is Always A Third Option One We Usually Have To Discover On Our Own.

We often think the way to arrive at attainment of certain goals is to follow a linear path towards your destination. Usually this path is limited. Often we tend to follow these well worn trails towards our goals, because they are easy and already mapped out for us.

Third Option
Photo by Florencia Viadana on Unsplash

Yet it doesn’t always conclude in the success you had imagined it would. And in those times when we don’t achieve the outcome we wanted. We’ll sometimes give up because we think we have exhausted our options. Or we’ll start over on the same exact path that didn’t work for us to begin with. Hoping for better results this second time around. We neglect the fact that there is a third option, a door that has endless possibilities because we usually create it for ourselves.

The Fun Part Is We Get To Be Creative With It.

We’re not confined to a set of rules to follow. We make the rules. Not finding the love you want. Scrap the play book. Look for a different type of person. Try different means of meeting people. Stop looking all together. Some times the chase is the problem repelling what you desire. Just think outside the box.

Have lofty goals you haven’t made progress on. Find the third door and work that angle. They won’t see it coming. It’s not always going to be how you envisioned it. You will have to make adjustments especially if what you are doing is not working. Find the weird alternative.

The Third Door

There is a excellent book called The Third Door by Alex Banayan. Where on his quest to interview some of the most successful people of our generation he puts these principles to the test. Often ending where he wanted. But not always how he anticipated it would be. There is always another way in. Learn from your mistakes. And keep working until you find it.

All Or Nothing #214.

All or Nothing

All Or Nothing Is A Win Big Or Lose Big Premonition. More So Landing On The Latter.

If you don’t win big, you lose big and there is no avoiding it. When you go in for all or nothing. You literally have one of two option. It’s the idea of either or. Either I win this or I lose this all.

Life shouldn’t be a game of choosing between the two. However, it’s some people’s way of coping. We will decide that if we can’t get everything we want out of a situation. We want nothing to do with that situation. Even if what we’re getting in return is still good. It’s not quite all so we’ll throw it out with the emotional garbage.

It’s the gambler junkie mentality, bet the house and hope to win. If not, we don’t go home because we just lost it to bankruptcy. I believe what would serve us best is replacing the “or” with “and.” I either get this “and” I also get that. Find a way to balance in order to can get a little bit of all and a little bit of nothing. Sure it won’t quite be all that you want but it isn’t quite nothing either.

The Finality Of It All.

The finality of all or nothing leaves you with no other options to build off of. If you can accept re-balancing, you can continue to build. Maybe it’s not quite all of what you originally wanted in the immediate. But at least you still have a foundation work around. Maybe the future house will look a little different when you finally arrive at it. But at you didn’t bulldoze it early on because it wasn’t to your exact specs.

All or nothing
Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

Let’s have our cake “and” eat it too. I know now if someone ever tells me they have an all or nothing mentality. That I’m walking away and leaving that situation at the nothing. Because when you receive all you never want to return to nothing. But sometimes you end up right back where you started, with nothing. Especially if they don’t reach their all or nothing goals.

Try to be adaptable, grow with the important people in your life. Grow with your goals. Accept that some people can’t always be all that you need. But if they’re important to you, take what you can get. And who knows you might still get to where you want to be or some alternative similar. Don’t relegate people and goals to nothingness. Because when you do you diminish the effort it took to try to reach the all down to nothing.

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Not Checking The Box and Moving On with Life’s Checklist #202.

Think Of Life As One Big Checklist, Each Accomplishment Is A Check. Make Your Check And Keep Moving Forward.

So why in life do most of us insist on checking the same boxes multiple times? Think of it this way, we all have this huge life checklist of all the things we want to accomplish while we’re here on earth. This checklist would have everything spouse, family, college, life’s work, inventions businesses, places to see. So since it’s so full with random goals, we have to break down this checklist into subcategories; dating/relationships, travel, employment, business, financial, etc.

Life Repeating The Past

Now as your going through your checklist so far. How often do you find yourself dating the same person just in a different skin? Or going on the exact same vacation every year? Working the same position in different industries or for different companies?

Maybe you like what you do and who you date and where you go. Maybe you’re simply a creature of habit and don’t want new experiences and just want that same routine every year. But by doing that we keep ourselves trapped in the mundane. We don’t strive for new goals. We also believe the checklist set for us by others, be it family members, or the media, is our own. So we all seem to follow a very similar path.

Moving Forward

It’s time to start saying, “screw it, I’ve been there, done that, now it’s time to move on.” If you’ve accomplished all things in a certain subcategory then push that category aside. Maybe you’ve traveled to every country in the world or you’ve checked all your boxes for dating. Move on to a different category, one with many vacant check marks where empty boxes lie.

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

Maybe you haven’t scratched the surface in business or your financial goals are lacking, maybe you haven’t traveled anywhere yet. Take a break from the same accomplishments and focus on new ones. You will thank yourself that you did. And if you absolutely want to repeat something, go for it, just add new variety to it.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.

Defeatist Questions #201.

What Does Someone Do Who Doesn’t Want To See You Succeed But Doesn’t Want To Be Obvious About It?

Why they ask you a defeatist line of questioning of course. Trying to get in shape and lose weight. Someone might say to you, “are you sure you’re not losing too much weight too fast?” Start a business and watch those closest too you light you up with fear mongering questioning to defeat your ambition. Are you sure that’s a good idea? How will you pay your bills? What will your family do if you don’t succeed?

Designed To Stifle Growth

They want to stifle your growth with those questions, not help you. It’s an attempt to curb your progress to keep you safely in the dredges along side of them. Because sometimes misery loves company. And maybe it’s not even misery, maybe they think they are protecting the herd by keeping you safe within it’s confines. It may look like they are trying to look out for your own best interest. But anyone with a lick of intelligence has already asked themselves every possible question you could throw at them.

Photo by Artem Maltsev on Unsplash

Ask Better Questions

It’s not helpful to ask questions that attempt to pull you down and these people should be called out on their passive aggressive defeatist line of questioning. Tell them to ask better questions, growth minded questions. What if I do succeed? What will I do then? How will your family look? What will your life be like when you hit that goal or that personal weight? Will you feel happier? Healthier? Will you be proud of the person in the mirror? Will you feel in line with who you truly are?

These are all questions that have to be contemplated if your are earnestly planning on reaching your goals. They’re growth oriented and yes they make you think strongly about your future path but they aren’t trying to keep you grounded in the past.

Getting Ahead

One of the last things you want to do is get to your goal and think now what. If you don’t have a proper contingency plan you might just feel like you need to go back and join the herd. Once you hit one milestone its time to plan for the next, and then the next and so on and so forth. Crush poor questioning dead in it’s track and correct those who ask them.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.